wow its been so long since I have been on here and written anything....well in the lst few weeks of my life things have been very interesting. Some good and some bad, the good part was that we had Genesis week that was so much fun we decorated our lobby as a nature trail theme and it was so much fun, we had leave and trees, we also had a tent pitched up in the lobby. There were also games and things, and you could win prizes and we ate dirt, ok so it was pudding with crushed cookies and gummie worms. We also paninted our lobby these really cool colors like a really pretty green and cream color. So that is all the fun stuff....

This last weekend we found out that our head coach who we are all very close to quit her head coaching job, she told us that she felt as if she was giving us what we deserved and she thought that it would be best for her to step down, but not only her we are losing pretty much our whole caoching staff, Shan is trying to get into PT school and JJ isn't coming back either, not sure about Nikki though she wants too but no sure the funny thing is that it always seem like the closets people that I let into my life leave, I know that it would happen some day but never thought that it would happen so soon at least until I left school, oh oh and that....I was cleaning the teachers offices as I do every night because it's my job and I was empting the trash when I found a note that said "prone to drop out" and it was in the last teacher that I thought it would ever be in. I don't know anymore sometimes I just want to say the heck with it and just leave, but there is that little voice that is always saying to me "if you go you will be a failuer and just like everyone else" and I hate that voice but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to do it. I studied for a history test for three weeks and got a D- on it what does that tell ya...I wish that everything would just turn out like I want it, but oh well thats life I guess.

Another thing is my freaking mother, I can't believe the things that she does sometimes, I was thinking about calling her this last christmas and try to say hi to her and then I got this thing in the mail (long story) and then I thought to myself why? why should I do that to myself and I know what the outcome would be. it just makes me so mad because she married this guy who no one knew about and you know I am not really mad about that the part that I am mad about is my brothers, she left my brothers in clearlake and left, now one she really doesn't have to take care of because he is an adult but the younger one it just kills me. I got to see him this summer and oh my he looked so nice, he was cleaned up real well and he was taller than I am. I only wish though that he would stay out of trouble thats all I wish ok not all but one thing at a time, one thing at a time.

well its been nice to write some of my frustration down real nice but I am going to go to bed cause I have been sick all day and its starting to catch me again so buenos noche